After the looks of confusion and explanation of what transgender is, why is the typically what comes next. The simple answer is that it is how I feel that I actually am. Maybe my freinds are more inquisitive than more, but that never seems to satisfy them so I will attempt a more detailed answer here. There is an biological answer involving hormones during conception and the randomness of how genes are passed along. Even with this there is not clear answer just theories. However I am neither a biologist or psychologists, so I will not try to explain it with science.
My answer comes down to I am what I am. It is part of the fundamental nature of what I am. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to model my life like my mom far more than my dad. It might have made sense if my mom was anything more than a house keeper but she was not. I don't so much want to live the way she does, but enjoy the values she has. Society says men should be strong, independent, stoic, callous and tough. They should go out make money to support a family of 2.5 kids and a puppy. Men should not be emotional, display affection or caring. Women are allowed to be more caring, supportive, emotional and soft.
I know that no person is absolutely masculine or absolutely feminine, and every person has a mixture of these traits. It is simply that I find myself with far more feminine traits than masculine, and not desiring to have the masculine traits.Some of the masculine traits I do want, like to be independence and there are feminine traits I do not wish to have. In psychology class they said that it was ideal to have a mixture of both to be a healthy successful person.
What I have said so far makes it seems like its just about traits. Maybe it is just cultural norms speaking, but my heart and mind is female. Ever since I could remember, I have wanted to be a girl and frequently wished I had been born that way. Even back in 3rd and 4th grade when girls were suppose to be icky I wanted to be one of them rather than a boy. Looking back part of this was because of them being more mature and generally kinder, but also because they were pretty. Women because of the clothing they get to wear and then how society allows them to take care of themselves look far better than men. At best a guy can wear a suit and look decent, but they never get to be more than that. I know, it sounds petty but I want to be pretty.
It was not till last year really though that I learned the term for what I was and realized that I had options. Most of my life was spent trying to act more like a guy, but it was difficult for me to say the least. Now I feel like I can begin to be more like myself. Without a doubt, I have a long way to go. My parents have no clue, and I don't really want to tell them. While I am working on changing it my body is still to masculine for my tastes, and I am a long way away from having any kind of sex-change surgery.