Monday, September 20, 2010

This is me forever, one of the lost ones.

The review went worse than predicted.  I thank everyone who commented and yeah it was bland. Unfortunately I am not use to dealing with color. All last year I was told too avoid color. The reason for this is when dealing with a client is that they might see a color they don't like and discard the whole design based off that small detail. We where taught to use colors to distinguish different materials, not so much how to use them together. Typically even for that we used different shades of gray.  Its a piss poor excuse, and I should have been clever enough to figure this out on my own.

During the review I would have loved even a tongue and cheek compliment but no. Hell even a back handed would have done. But apparently my work is completely shit with no redeeming qualities what so ever.

For a while after I was a smothering pile of rage that is kind of ready to ignite with any additional fuel. During that period I wanted to bring down a mass of killing that would have even put Stalin to shame. Perhaps fortunately I am a powerless creature and all I can do it really smile and pretend nothing happened at all.

For a brief bit of time the anger had turned in on itself and I was being hyper critical about everything in my life. My mind set became kind of self destructive and suicidal, lucky I did not act on act on any of these thoughts. Though I guess walking out in front of traffic a few times might have counted.  6 hours of class gave me plenty of time to get over myself.

Right now I am in the fuck it stage. Its not important and I don't care. The more extreme thoughts that I will not act on are less about dieing and more about just leaving. At the moment it is kind of hard for me to come up with reasons not to just walk away from it all. I am not happy or satisfied with what is going on now, so why continue? The only reason I have is that I don't like losing and admitting this makes me think its a pretty piss poor reason.


  1. I'm sorry they didn't appreciate the artistic quality of your work, i think you did an awesome job. Some of the best pictures int his world are black and white, and just because they have no eye for beauty, doesn't mean you suck.
    Remember this quote, "I never did mind the little things..." Whenever something bothers me, and I don't want it to show, I smile and say it, and it helps me get through it. I hope it helps you as well.

  2. I say from now on you do what you feel is right when you are making something for school. Yes it might not appeal to every client, but hey thats why there is a designer out there for everyone. I mean if some person will make a meat dress for lady gaga then you will be able to find someone who likes how you design and create.

  3. I say keep pluggin' away, but make sure you are happy. The key to life is making yourself happy. Whether that be conforming to other people or doing as you please.

  4. Thank you for your kind comment. Yes I'm already feeling better. And not yet soy milk. But I'm working on this one. They won't get me this time.

  5. dont be too quick to blame yourself

  6. The surest path to success is failure. If you always succeed, you will never have the feeling of triumph against odds. The pain of struggling to the top is overcome by the joy of surpassing yourself... Yay, got an idea for my daily meditation, thank you.

  7. Critiques were always the very worst part of my week--one snide remark, one "I don't get it" would ruin me for at least a few days. I lost productivity. I cried, I railed against a world that didn't understand me, and didn't want to.

    Then I realized, it was all just a process. We have to be made to see the mediocre to understand the grand--we have to hear the criticism of our peers to understand how they feel about their own work, and how an outsider sees our work. It doesn't mean it's valid, it doesn't mean anything in the long just means they are learning how to see and critique with an artistic eye, and sometimes, they're failing at it, or saying something snide because they don't understand how to judge art or design on it's own merits.

    The use of the golden mean is a stroke of genius. It applies to all arts and sciences, and is one of my favorite symbols. The lines are angular, echoing architecture, and you do a good job of leading us around the poster. Of course things could be improved, but you are an architecture student, not a graphic design student. This flat typography-centric design stuff isn't going to matter much to you. I took a required architecture class once as a fine art major. Let's just say we were all glad to see me get out of that with a C.

    I ramble, it's a flaw--I'm just saying, the poster does the job it's meant to do, and you mustn't let critique cut you too deeply, especially now, as you and your entire class are learning *how* to critique, what it means, and what's constructive and what's not.

    Hang in there, Bunz.

  8. Keep learning and doing, there are plenty of naysayers, and not enough do'ers

  9. Yes projects can be very frustrating.
    Keep move ahead though you'll pull through. :D

  10. Challenges are the world's way of making life interesting =)